There isn't a member of the OXM team of man-children that hasn't pretended to be a superhero at some point in his youth. Unfortunately our caped-crusading usually ended abruptly with a skinned knee and a stinging blast of Savlon Dry.
The urge to become a force for justice never left us, though, and after watching Christian Bale kick seven bells out of Heath Ledger's excellent Joker it's stronger than ever. Finally, there's now a game to scratch that very itch.
Arkham Asylum gets Batman right - that's the most important thing to establish early in this review. Whether it's grapple-swinging between gargoyles, performing crunching counter moves or appearing behind a thug and silently removing him from duty before disappearing into the shadows again, everything feels totally authentic.
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Of course, his vulnerabilities are present and correct as well - all combat is non-lethal and facing off against a room full of machine-gun toting bad guys is a lot tougher when your main character's honour system won't let him touch a shooter himself.
We particularly love the rooms that force you to take out several heavily-armed guards using stealth tactics. In those situations you're really made to take advantage of Batman's talents and kit, and there are few more satisfying moments in gaming than clearing out an entire room of hapless thugs in a matter of moments. Each one of the mechanics fits the main character like a black, rubberised glove, making the game feel totally unique.
It's all in the details Not only is the character nailed with a sharpened Batarang, Rocksteady has turned Arkham Island into a beautifully detailed and fascinating environment to explore. BioShock's Rapture is a clear influence, and every corridor and room is crammed with incidental eye candy.
While it's clearly a comic book-inspired pseudo-gothic setting rather than hard-line reality, it still feels totally convincing because it's so beautifully crafted. Better yet, the cutscenes, while excellent, are used sparingly and for the most part the story is delivered through voice messages and collectible recordings as you negotiate your way through the environment.
It's a great example of how games should weave their plot into the experience, and Rocksteady deserves a big pat on the back for managing it so effectively.
Batman: Arkham Asylum is a game that rarely falters. The mix of activities and puzzles ensures that you're rarely doing the same thing for too long, and the area design means that backtracking is either kept to a minimum or shaken up somehow. Sadly though, there are a few moments in the game where the Bat drops the ball.
One segment two thirds in, which sees you descending into Killer Croc's lair, is painfully slow and stands in stark contrast to the rest of the game.
The other major disappointment is the frustrating final confrontation, where victory relies on what is easily the game's worst mechanic - hammering repeatedly on a button until your thumb's crippled by RSI. Disappointing, to say the least.
In spite of these brief transgressions, Arkham Asylum is still a brilliant experience. No other license-shackled developer has understood their subject quite as well as Rocksteady, and this is without a doubt the definitive representation of the Dark Knight. If, like us, you've wanted to be Batman since you were a nipper, this is the closest you'll get to sneaking around at night in polyurethane pants without ending up on a government list.