You probably won't need any help amusing yourself in Grand Theft Auto 5 - indeed, the greater challenge is likely to be making any kind of headway in the face of myriad distractions. Rockstar's Los Santos isn't simply the largest world it has ever coded, but the most diverse, and that's before you consider the preposterously content-stuffed Grand Theft Auto Online, which arrives two weeks after the game itself goes on sale.
Still, just in case you're genuinely at a loss, here's a little to-do list from your friends at OXM. Additional suggestions are, of course, very welcome - chuck them into the comments thread, and we may update the feature.
1. Watch TV
Who's got time for "interactivity" when there's so much homegrown programming available on your in-game flattie? You could fire up Weasel News for a dose of glossy bigotry, or skip over to liberal outlet CNT, for such limp-wristed offerings as The Underbelly of Paradise, Impotent Rage and Moorehead Rides Again.
2. Scuba dive
We can't wait to explore the crystal blue waters surrounding Los Santos, whether in a submersible or - perilously - while wearing Scuba gear. Watch out for Great Whites and shipwrecks housing who-knows-what long-lost treasure.
3. Investigate a crime scene
Ever read Cormac McCarthy's No Country For Old Men? Yes? You'll know exactly what to do when you come across a bunch of pick-up trucks and dead bodies out in the badlands, then.
4. Plan and pull off a heist
In GTA 5, you set up heists yourself, deciding exactly how to execute them and with whom. You can rob a jewellery store by posing as exterminators and quietly gassing everyone inside, or by busting down the front door and waving a shotgun under the manager's nose - your choice.
5. Play golf
So you've planned and successfully executed a heist - now what? You enjoy the spoils of your hard work of course. How about a relaxing round of golf on the green? Dibs on driving one of those little electric buggies back to the clubhouse.
6. Soak up the music
15 music stations, two stations of talk radio and 240 licensed songs - that's a lot of audio. You might want to just park up on a mountainside and spend an evening flipping through stations.
7. Go on a shopping spree
Ill-gotten cash still burning a hole in your pocket? Whether visiting the high-class Ponsonby's on Portola Drive or something a little more - midmarket - you'll find threads to suit all tastes in Los Santos' wide range of clothing emporiums.
8. Hang out with hobos
The diversity of Los Santos' social circles means you can be hanging with the stars one minute, and slumming it on the streets the next. Probably shouldn't have bought that $5,000 dinner jacket in every colour.
9. Watch the world go by
Many of the game's NPCs have daily routines - visit Little Seoul of a morning, and you may see cleaners and gardeners waiting for the bus to Rockford Hills, where they'll tend the walled estates of the filthy rich. Are there any amateur documentary film-makers in the house?
10. Buy medical marijuana
Strictly for therapeutic purposes, obviously. It looks like the waterfront might be the best place to find a store.
11. Search for references to old GTAs
The Grove Street gang are still here, and there are apparently references to characters like Niko Bellic in single player. You might also recognise Lazlow, GTA 4's barmy talkshow host. What else can you discover?