BioWare has gone on record to say that Mass Effect 3's endings will make some players "angry". Freed of the need to pave the way for a sequel (or so we're told, anyway - future Mass Effects may explore the series prehistory), the writers have well and truly let their hair down.
Toes will surely be trodden on, tempers tickled, as an entire trilogy's worth of winding plot-lines spirals to a close. Just how far will BioWare go? Can the offerings be as offensively incongruous and stupid as the endings we've dreamt up below? (Visit our Mass Effect 3 hub for all the news so far. Thanks to Saturn Celeste off MEForums for our frontpage image.)
Mass Effect 3 ending: the Matt version
After countless emotional sacrifices, Shepard eventually saves the galaxy from being turned into paste by using some sort of ancient Prothean weapon. Returning to the Citadel a galactic hero, he loses all sense of perspective and quickly abandons the rest of his friends - turning himself into full-on celebrity.
Trading standards eventually catch up with his promotional monopoly, leading to a series of lawsuits from influential vendors. After a heated argument with the Council, Shepard loses his composure, systematically pushing all of them through plate glass windows, one at a time. Less than 20 minutes after the incident, a press release is mailed out to reveal that the company who will be replacing the windows provides Commander Shepard's "favourite double-glazing on the Citadel".
The brutality and irony prove too much to take, forcing Shepard to retreat from society entirely, and have a little holiday with the Illusive Man.
30 comments so far...
Decent_Jam on 18 Feb '12 said:
Three 'Log's' versions, surely the second should be Jonty and I'm not sure about the third, possibly Mike rather than Edwin...hmmm...
Anyway, regardless of that, I'm really looking forward to MY ending.
I'm hoping the credits involve some sort of galactic dance-off, which I sadly won't be able to take part in since I am Kinect-less
EDIT: Well clearly the glaring error has been fixed now so I look like I was talking crazy a minute ago...
golliwoza on 18 Feb '12 said:
The main image of everyone Gmod style has scared the life outta me.
razor6494 on 18 Feb '12 said:
you wake up realizing it was all a dream, and your just the cleaner of the citadels council quarters.
abbzy on 18 Feb '12 said:
A possible thing to happen during the game is that the illusive man takes control of shepard, because in the end he did re-create you, so its possible he has some sort of control over you which could mean a mission where you have to take control of another crew member to help shepard. Have to see though should be great.
VirtualCynic on 19 Feb '12 said:
Shepard - male or female - flies off into the sunset with Liara, after saying goodbye to friends and allies and mourning those they have lost... Then...
Male Shepard - As Liara stands staring out of a huge viewport at a panoramic view of space, Shepard walks up behind her, holding her, and then runs his hands down over Liara's very pregnant belly...
You know, I could very much live with that ending... That said though...
Female Shepard - As she stands staring out of a huge viewport at a panoramic view of space, Liara walks up behind her, holding her, and then runs her hands down over Shepard's very pregnant belly...
Too much?
Decent_Jam on 19 Feb '12 said:
You know that's the strangest combination of sweet and worrying...
OXM ETboy on 19 Feb '12 said:
Sorry, Jamster :p
Rob606 on 19 Feb '12 said:
Me and my mates discussed the ending of ME3 in length whilst playing the Demo:
Just as Shepard is about to finish fighting the reapers, he wakes up - only to discover he's an ice cream man in modern day earth.
His ice cream truck is called the Normandy and his plate reads 'N7'. He then sobs into his hands in the window.
The camera then pans away slowly, from the truck to earth, earth to Sol, Sol to the Galaxy, galaxy to universe...
universe to the Reapers, laying in wait
Plamsa wing on 19 Feb '12 said:
I hope for either of these endings.
Ending one.
Unknowingly to Shepard, the Illusive man is in fact Sovereign from the future. Shepard goes back and uses top men to create genetically enhanced super frogs for a laugh. Everyone starts looking for Shepard, the Reapers win and the universe implodes. A giant hand then comes down holding a giant marshmallow.
Ending two.
Shepard, Wrex, Garrus and Legion combines for some odd reason. They do battle with a giant mega Reaper, they win, big massive dance off, the end.
Ending three
Shepard and co meet up in a church they made for themselves for some odd reason, fat bloke stays behind to protect the galaxy from the Reapers. No answer for why this happens are given at all.
EdDeRs1 on 19 Feb '12 said:
how i think it should end (badassery)
Shepard cant do it, hes basicly f**ked, the Reapers appear to be about to win when they make 2 MASSIVE mistakes...
One: they land at coordinates: 47°9?S 126°43?W in the southern Pacific Ocean, an area known to be home to R'lyeh, where "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." awakening the Dark God Cthulhu, High Priest of the Old Ones.
and Two: they attempt to take Death Valley, earning them the wrath of the demon that inhabits the area, the Demon of Death Valley, the Lord of Darkness, The Undertaker...
both of whom kick some serious Reaper behind and awesomeness ensures when they lead a massive assult on Reaper space wipeing them out for all eternity, amd then reaturn to there respective haunts to awate there ture time of awakening...
sonicmark on 19 Feb '12 said:
I think this will happen
.
After Shepard's knocked the reporter out for a third time, he goes on to fight the reaper invasion, once all the reapers are destroyed, Shepard makes the front page of every newspaper across the milky way, Shepard and his crew go looking for the reporter and gang up on her and all take turns at hitting her with everything they can get their hands on. Finally Shepard picks the reporter up by her throat and says "now will you stop f**king bugging me?" and finishes off by throwing her into a mass relay, sending her to an unknown galaxy, never to be seen or heard from ever again.
bedlum69 on 19 Feb '12 said:
The illusive man sends you to the corner shop for a packet of 20 Regal kingsize.
CunningSmile on 20 Feb '12 said:
I think it will be revealled that Conrad Verner is the only hope for the Universe, but isn't available because you weren't more supportive in ME1. Don't you feel like a bastard now?
Or they will do a Dallas, and Shepard will find Bobby Ewing in the shower and realise the last three years were all a dream (I kid you not youngsters, Dallas really did that)
SidTheSloth on 20 Feb '12 said:
Is the planet Jonty's stuck on Casbin or Nodacrux by any chance?
Does he know you can go to the map and press X to return to the Normandy or was the 'stuck on a far away planet with no way back to the ship' excuse a liberty taken by the author?
Either way, i think it's shocking the boss man hasn't completed/played through one of the (arguably) best series on 360. Ed, i think it's time you and the others there invoked some sort of mutiny - tell Jonty he'll be taking over Logs 'shitty kinect games reviewing role' if he doesn't buck up and lightly toast some reapers!
I can sympathise with him regarding playing through ME1 again though, i did it week before last and the game engine is horrid by modern standards, it's easy to overlook just how far we've moved on within this same tech generation!
VirtualCynic on 20 Feb '12 said:
Yeah, that was weird... Or just showed how desperate the producers were to get the character back in the show...
As for Conrad, well I think his wife will get killed by a Reaper, making him turn into a badass killing machine, and then saves Shepard's life - meaning you either have to thank him (Paragon) or congratulate him for growing some testicles (Renegade)...
SidTheSloth on 20 Feb '12 said:
This is assuming his wife even exists... Who knows in the crazy world of Conrad!!
Will wet my pants if it turns out his wife is Chakwas and she stays on ships to get away from him!
OXM Jonty on 20 Feb '12 said:
I honestly can't remember if I tried the push-X thing. I have dragged both ME and ME2 out of storage with a view to finally filling the gap this year - I'm going to turn the difficult down and just blitz through them - but haven't had a chance yet. I'm aware I'm a bad person because of this.
Bezza89 on 20 Feb '12 said:
Tut jonty! Can you confirm how many discs ME3 comes on because Ed said you have the review copy in?
SidTheSloth on 20 Feb '12 said:
The forum's not angry with you, just disappointed...
SidTheSloth on 20 Feb '12 said:
I'd also like to know this as it changes wherever you read it! More importantly, can i install all the discs and keep disc 1 in forever as disc changes ruin my life! Well, they don't but they're an annoyance all the same
Bezza89 on 20 Feb '12 said:
I hope it's three discs, with MP separate like BF3. But they probably wont do the disc 1 only thing because there are four people without hard drives who will be affected.
Plamsa wing on 20 Feb '12 said:
A dev over on BSN said it was 2 discs.
OXM Jonty on 20 Feb '12 said:
That sounds like a misunderstanding, we haven't got it yet. Some other Future mags do, but our deadline is slightly later so it hasn't shown up yet. I'd hesitate to draw conclusions from how many discs it's on, though - review code is pretty rough and ready presentation-wise.
OXM Jonty on 20 Feb '12 said:
That makes it a rare and special jewel among forums.
SidTheSloth on 20 Feb '12 said:
How would them not having a hard drive stop them using each disc individually? Do these people actually exist anymore anyway? Has anyone seen one? I propose a south park-esque rabble to rid the land of both of these people who dare 360 without a hdd!
Depending on the success, i may then hire out the rabble to cleanse the world of those who bought Zumba!
Decent_Jam on 20 Feb '12 said:
Yaaaaay we're special!
Quick, everyone get down to Marylebone with ceremonious green robes and OXM written on their foreheads in permanent marker to begin the non-stop vigil until Mass Effect 3 arrives! (wi-fi piggy-backing necessary to keep up with OXM.co.uk news)
Bezza89 on 20 Feb '12 said:
You'd have disc 1 be play disc, and 2 install disc, which you can't really have because of the absence of harddrives.
Ninja Squirrel on 23 Feb '12 said:
After saving the galaxy the crew off the normandy are hailed as heros and go there own way
Sheppard lives with Ashley and Miranda in a Trailer park in Alabama and he becomes the new messiah in a Cult that kick starts another Waco incident after he fathers 24 children
Garrus enters Big Brother and wins after killing the illusive man's Jedward Clones
Grunt gives in to his urges and opens a hair dressing salon on the Citadel
Liara invests heavily in Exogeni which goes bankrupt forcing her to spend the rest of her days as a stripper
Jack gets eaten by the rachni after everyone gets pissed off with her
Tali and legion get it on marry and open a bakery on Virmire
Joker gets busted by the Social for claiming false benefits after he's caught playing golf
Chakwas gets struck of the medical register for indecent behavior towards elcors
The rest of the Normandy crew stay in the service of the alliance as nobody really paid attention to them.
VirtualCynic on 25 Feb '12 said:
Ha ha! Nice thought. But...
(ME2 Spoiler)
Playing last night, after meeting Conrad in the bar on Illium and making sure my lovely Renegade LadyShep shot him in the foot, I heard a Galactic News voiceover saying he'd been killed trying to arrest someone...
CunningSmile on 27 Feb '12 said:
I hope you're happy. The fate of the Universe rested solely on Conrad's shoulders and thanks to you shooting him in the foot he won't be there to save it!