Attention, Commander Shepards of the internet: I'm a terrible person. I'm beginning to entertain doubts about Mass Effect 3 - pinnacle of sci-fi epicalness, hope of the downtrodden and the game we've been writing about solidly all week.
When the Reapers do fall out of the sky like Enterprise-scale owl pellets, a mere month or so from now, my commitment to the cause will be wanting. Disquiet tugs at my gun arm, dulls the tangerine blade of my Omni-tool. There's only one thing for it: I must undertake my very own Loyalty Mission. I must (and shall) dump my disgusting misgivings - seven of them, to be precise - onto this very page, cleansing myself of their noisome stink via the proven apparatus of high-handed moaning.
1. The Galaxy at War thing will go to BioWare's head
Mass Effect 3 was always going to be "the biggest Mass Effect yet" - the first two instalments are all about building up for the Reaper war. But it's a little disappointing nonetheless to see writers as deft as BioWare's embrace this cliché so passionately. Mass Effect 1 and 2 thrive on intimacy, not bombast, on the quiet wonders of exploration and tensely wrought, subtly acted head-to-heads. Fold in a million, billion world-eating sentient spaceships, and you're in danger of losing the trees for the wood.
2. More Reapers equals less threatening Reapers
The rule about hinting not showing applies to games beyond the survival horror variety. Mass Effect's looming tentacled Borg-a-likes are scariest when they're in the background enjoying a good, hard machination - tantalising with the thought of their nature and power as you peel back layers of puppetry and deceit. In Mass Effect 3, there's a whole army of them in view, and the suspense dwindles by strict proportion.
"Like the transition from Alien to Aliens, and that didn't turn out too badly", you may be thinking, but here's the problem with your reasoning - Aliens might have been an action film at root, but it still had build-up. It kept the xenomorphs off-stage till you were nicely wired. Mass Effect 3? The worst is already happening as the game begins. No need to watch the shadows, or even pick your targets.
3. The multiplayer won't hold up
"So ignore the multiplayer and focus on the campaign," scream advocates, waving their pitchforks. "Nobody's forcing you to play online, genius. You can unlock all the story endings regardless." OK. Can I ignore an equivalent percentage of the price? Because as competent as Mass Effect 3's Horde mode variant looks, I already own Gears of War 3.4. They're going to abuse shock tactics
Mass Effect 3 went public by kicking out the face of Big Ben - an off-puttingly cynical, Modern-Warfare-esque showing from a franchise that's hitherto kept dear old Mother Earth and her political sensitivities at a calculating remove. All science fiction is allegory in a sense, and this one makes some interesting contributions to the field. The Asari? A blue-tinted riff on Buddhism and sexual healing. The Geth? Collectivism taken to an extreme. The Salarians? I don't know, a reimagining of autism or something. And humanity? Just another ethnic group in the throng.
These are portrayals Mass Effect 3 appears to forget in favour of blowing holes in your political correctness. Tell me, have I just made myself sound like a colossal, pseudo-profound tit? Because it certainly feels like I have. But at least I'm not killing off kiddies for the purposes of Shock and Awe.
24 comments so far...
Jabraham on 3 Feb '12 said:
Blasphemy!!!
mike_thoth on 3 Feb '12 said:
I must confess to being disappointed with this article. The writer I think is a fine writer but I must disagree with much of what is said. I am a PC Gamer and have enjoyed the whole series. Yes the first one and second Mass Effect are different in story type and function from the user perspective but it was the faults in the first game that made it so endearing. It was a game trying to do something, and like a movie buff following the work of a specific director, I am a person that will always take a risk on any Bioware game and specifically on Casey Hudson.
I also play XBOX less that PC, but I cannot remember if the original was released on XBOX, I know it was available for PC only when I purchased, but the choices made for PC gamers in the original were fantastic and every small little decision was reflected. I myself downloaded the tool which was used by many gamers that had not played the original, but these decisions were the main ones whereas the player of the game had so many nuances which made the experience much more satisfying.
For me I am excited because the first game for me was fantastic, the second took it up another level from a story (Mass Effect 2 was the most emotionally invested I have ever been in a game) and the next one will allow me to play MY story. My story is for me unique, it links a story or novel and gives me the ability to write my own chapters as the book progresses!
I CANT WAIT!
Clanger67 on 3 Feb '12 said:
Yeah it was released for 360 i have it.They didn't release a ps 3 version you just get cartoon at the beginning of 2 that you can make some vital choices from the first.
msbhvn on 3 Feb '12 said:
Freddie Prinze Jr.? Mr. f***ing Buffy? He has zero personality in live action, never mind voiceover. After all the money EA has thrown at this game, he's the best they could do? I'm too astonished to even facepalm.
Not the best article to post after directing BioWare to the Mass Effect TV thing, but well done for acknowledging some of the serious reservations I and some of the other regulars on here have about the quality of this game.
omallystwin on 3 Feb '12 said:
makes a stern expersion and points finger at Ed!
STE MO on 4 Feb '12 said:
I have been ignoring all of the story's about the game. I do hope it turns out better then what I'm imagining at the moment, after a disappointing number 2 I hope they get back to their best. Fingers crossed
Bezza89 on 4 Feb '12 said:
Dude it was xbox only for at least six months, probably a year.
omallystwin on 4 Feb '12 said:
...disappointing number two? i may have to make a stern expression at you as well!
falcon on 4 Feb '12 said:
I'm worried about the huge number of reapers as well. Looking at the end of ME1 and how hard it was to take down just Sovereign I have a bad feeling that they'll introduce some kind of deus ex machina that feels like a massive cop out.
Waffles2541 on 4 Feb '12 said:
You Sir, may be getting a renegade option to the face at some point.
leandrombraz on 5 Feb '12 said:
Am I the only one that understand the child scene? It's not only for the purpose of shock and awe, it's allegorical. When the child say "you can't help me", it's representing Shepard's own fear and the ugly truth: He can't save everyone, maybe he won't save anybody and the reapers will win. Bioware said more than one time that they will develop Shepard better this time, this scene is part of it. I'm pretty sure that we will have the chance to speak about this scene in some dialog of the game. It's important to Shepard and to give us connection with what is happening.
However, I can't deny that Bioware have a lot of elements that they can use for purpose of shock and awe. I can see happening a lot of scenes like the Alliance arriving in Citadel battle in ME1. People feel connect with the ME universe, they know that and they will use it. It will be a emotional game, no doubts about that.
leandrombraz on 5 Feb '12 said:
They said that we won't have any magic solution. We will find some stuffs that will help, but wont be that easy. Races will perish, people will die, worlds will be destroyed (even earth.. You can loose earth!). Will be a ugly war, we will se the reapers strength, but this time they are using plan B, won't be easy for the reapers as well. They don't have control over the Mass Relays, they lost the citadel in ME1, they have a real resistence this time. After all, they are machines, and machines can be broken. Shepard's words..
leandrombraz on 5 Feb '12 said:
About Gears of War 3, because it is a TPS with horde mode we can't have another one? What is this, highlander? ME combat have it's own particularities. I'm pretty sure that in GoW you can't ask you engineer friend to release a incinerate in an armored guy, while your adept friend release a singularity, and finally you kill him easy while he fly around the singularity. I like ME combat and I want to play ME coop with my friends, because it's ME, I don't care if there's others games out there with the same mode.
falcon on 5 Feb '12 said:
Awesome, I hadn't read that. Thanks for restoring my faith in Bioware, can't believe I ever doubted them!
STE MO on 6 Feb '12 said:
I felt let down with the story, but I was taking in the context of its own game not a part of a trilogy, where by ME1 was its own game and the start of the trilogy, look at Star Wars, A New Hope was great, the Empire Strikes Back was admittedly the worst then The Return of the Jedi the best film of the bunch. That's what I compare Mass Effect to, its not that ME2 was bad it just wasn't ME1 for me. To light on RPG elements.
CunningSmile on 6 Feb '12 said:
I've been really worried about the number of Reapers as well. I'm terrified that they will follow the Inverse Ninja Law, whereby one Ninja is an unstoppable force of invisible distruction but hundreds are comic relief hench people getting beaten up by any American who placed third in a high school Karate competition.
Cheerfully lying to try and convince self: I'm sure it will all work out in the end.
CHIEFRAPTOR on 6 Feb '12 said:
I just can't stop imagining the awkwardness if Tali and Legion were to bone...
msbhvn on 6 Feb '12 said:
I don't think the Quarians made the Geth as sex toys. The ME3 codex could prove me wrong, though.
Decent_Jam on 6 Feb '12 said:
Waaait a minute, in what way does it not go: Empire Strikes Back > A New Hope (or, depending on your age, Star Wars) > Return of the Jedi...?
I thought what we were unanimous on that? Who's been messing with stuff??
Anywho ME3's story does indeed need something like the dramatic climax which Jedi had I'll grant you.
STE MO on 6 Feb '12 said:
I was just taking them in release order that's all, My bad
Decent_Jam on 7 Feb '12 said:
Phew I was worried for a moment there, s'all good.
CunningSmile on 7 Feb '12 said:
I was about to say, Empire rocks! It's the only one that has decent (ie not written by Lucas) dialogue for a start.
Maverick_McCool on 8 Feb '12 said:
Erm....what? Wrong , so very wrong.
Although I wouldn't put it past EA to shaft us ROJ style and have Sheppard defeat the Reapers with the aid of some furry spear wielding midgets.
Actually , the Volus could come in handy there.
Maverick_McCool on 8 Feb '12 said:
I was a bit dubious as to whether that was a real law , but it is in fact legit , it even has it's own Facebook page!