Skyrim: 15 most annoying NPC quotes

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME HERE

Yeah, I should probably have said that when you were asking around the office. Sorry, it only just occurred to me

The more of these articles Ed posts the more i'm starting to worry about his levels of repressed anger. I'm sure he's only a step away from turning up at the OXM office with a shot gun.

Still, you've reviewed all the good games for the time being so there is plenty of time to hire your replacements before Mass Effect 3 needs looking at.

I love the sweetroll comment...i love it sooooo much its driven me right back to fallout 3, where it belongs

I'm just fed up with the guards telling me I smell like a wet dog , heard it three times on my way from the blacksmith to the pub and THEN I get the "Cloud district guy" save the game , hit the "Wolf out" button , and butcher the entire town!

Who's a wet dog now bitch!

Looking to protect yourself? Or deal some damage?

Honest gold for honest work.

"I should bash your face in after all you've done"

Go for it

Being a mage, all i ever hear is "Take care with those flames" or "Whoa whoa - watch the magic!"

Ooooh the temptation to watch said flames go to work!!

I hate it when shopping and someone close by repeats their one line over and over and ooooover again too!

Kudos Ed, 6 & 14 almost cost me a laptop after i spluttered my drink over it laughing!!

That bloody age of aggression song the bards sing!!!!!!!!

I'm genuinely confused by all the bard rage from you lot....

If they existed in real bars then yes, i would gladly vomit and rub their noses in it, but skyrim wise, am i completely missing something? How long are you all spending in the bars to get so irritated by them - surely they're some of the dullest locations in the cities as bugger all goes on there!?!? (That git in whiterun aside!)

I feel like there's a wicked scene in skyrim somewhere im missing out on - i imagine for you smug gits who've found it, it's rather like a 'reflex' in that they have dance edits of two songs played on repeat? The beer must be stella too, hence why you're all so bloody narky!

@sidthesloth

Haha i just like spending time in the towns. I basically like to use the towns for resources for a bit, then i migrate to the next town. Good way of not getting mixed up with Misc quests too early.

"You look pale. Could be ataxia. It's quite a problem back home in Cyrodil."

I get told this constantly, i feel like a leper

At least theres no more " I have fought Mudcrabs more fearsome than you!"

The game's install is 3.8GB, there's another 4GB of space on the disc they could have used for more voice acting.

Arcadia in Whiterun just runs off at the mouth constantly while you're using her Alchemy table. I'm glad I bought Breezehome so I have my own and don't have to listen to her anymore.

@golliwoza: The mudcrabs in Skyrim are about three times bigger than the ones I used to punch for fun in Cyrodiil, they're pretty fearsome.

"have you tried mercenary work? It might suit you."

Yes I have but I found killing my client and simply taking the money along with everything they own from their dead body was easier. Cut out the middle man... Literally. Oh I'm sorry were you offering me a job?

"What are you hunting?... Actually I don't want to know."
YOU!!!
The amount of times I've had to reload my autosave after putting an arrow into the guy at The Drunken Huntsman in Whiterun.

"We are on the hunt!" Orc hunter just after killing his hunting partner, and shortly before going after me with an axe. Maybe it was the Royal "we"?

im 90 hours in and have yet to utilize a follower...

ive hardly spent enough time in any populated location to notice any NPC repetition.

At least theres no more " I have fought Mudcrabs more fearsome than you!"

This was the best oblivion quote, particularly when the character saying it was actually fighting a mudcrab at the time XD

#3
funny as!!

I came across a great one 'Yes, that's right, leave - like everyone else!'

Bloody hell, way to play the lonely card. Felt really guilty as I was also trying to convince her daughter to run to riften at the time. Changed my mind and made this other bloke confess his love to her to stop her leaving.

I think if I had to pick any annoying quote it would have to be one from the wizard follower you can get from Riften's pub, I forget his name but everytime you get him to carry stuff he says "I am an apprentice wizard not a pack mule ... oh very well". I mean come on if your gonna moan don't flake out at the last minute! Especially not every single time!

"Another wanderer, here to lick my father's boots"

WHAT IS IT? DRAGONS?

Does it SOUND like a giant lizard bearing down on your little town to kill you all? NO, SO SHUT THE f**k UP.

Oh god, after a day of skyrim and "hello my love" the injured miner woman i took pity on and 'married' (most pointless feature in skyrim for me?) is now lightly charred & hidden under my alchemy table... The 300 gold a day i've lost or whatever is most definitely money well spent (or not earned)!

Oh god, after a day of skyrim and "hello my love" the injured miner woman i took pity on and 'married' (most pointless feature in skyrim for me?) is now lightly charred & hidden under my alchemy table... The 300 gold a day i've lost or whatever is most definitely money well spent (or not earned)!

MURDERER!

So there I am all bollocky buff (I'd just divested myself of all and sundry in an effort to get moving again) and this bloody woman says something like 'aren't you cold, put your unmentionables away at least'....I'm a Nord and used to the cold but I bet that right now she's in one of the many pubs in Whiterun telling anybody who'll listen that there's another flasher on the loose!
AND my Lydia doesn't speak to me anymore, she's impaled on some spikes set up by those Stormcloak bastards, I was going to join them as well. Not now though...she was getting on my nerves a bit with her constant tutting behind me!

AND my Lydia doesn't speak to me anymore, she's impaled on some spikes set up by those Stormcloak bastards, I was going to join them as well. Not now though...she was getting on my nerves a bit with her constant tutting behind me!

In all fairness it's not really her fault she isn't talking to you. If you normally expect the dead to talk I think the fault may be yours, and suggest you seek medical help rather then sitting at home playing computer games.

And I was thinking of joining the Stormcloaks as well, but in sympathy for your Lydia i may join the boycott.

"Have you washed? You stink like a we dog!"

And i cured my werewofl form 2 hours ago

"So your the newest companion what do you do fetch their Mead" (or words of those effect) by every guard I've come across.

Skyrim is now littered with the dead who mocked the Mead-Man. .

Anybody know what a 'sweet roll' is. Some bloody guard asked me if somebody had stolen one from me. How would I know what one is...I bet it's a Yank thing!
He's dead anyway, condecending bastard!

Sweetrolls are in every Bethesda game I have played , Morrowind , Oblivion , Fallout 3 , Wet and of course Skyrim in fact they are the only food my Khajit Hitcat ever eats!

Sweetrolls are in every Bethesda game I have played , Morrowind , Oblivion , Fallout 3 , Wet and of course Skyrim in fact they are the only food my Khajit Hitcat ever eats!

AND.....'sweet rolls' are what?

It's a food item, this is quite obvious - stop your lolligagging.

It's probably a more cakey version of Brioche. It's got icing on anyway... roll implies savoury to me, so I reckon my theory is on the money.

Sweetrolls are in every Bethesda game I have played , Morrowind , Oblivion , Fallout 3 , Wet and of course Skyrim in fact they are the only food my Khajit Hitcat ever eats!

AND.....'sweet rolls' are what?

It's food , I thought I made that clear when I said it's the only FOOD my Khajit Hitcat ever eats..............

If I have to go a little more in depth , it looks like a fairy cake with a cherry on it , it's made out of moon sugar and skooma and when mixed with cheese and beer will make a fondue which will give you a magical boner!

SOOoooo it's a 'kind of food' made out of various 'substances' that would get a seller lifted by the feds on planet Earth. 'Note to self....explore the possibilities of playing the role of a wandering drug pusher OR maybe a drug baron in a future play through of Skyrim'.
Sweet rolls...I had them down as something like a Chinese 'pancake roll'...with chicken curry, egg fried rice and prawn crackers while in reality they are a class B drug substitute.
Don't let Jeremy Clarkson in on this...he has enough controversy going on as it is!

Spring rolls, sausage rolls, swiss rolls, sandwich rolls (don't get me started on them).

I didn't know they were made out of skooma, makes me worried for that kid that hangs out with the Jarls son in whiterun.

All the Skyrim children are hooked on Skooma , that's why they feel no pain and wander about repeating the same lines over and over again and don't so much as bat an eyelid when you set fire to the person standing next to them.

That's why!! Of course, it all makes sense now!

A lot of Skyrim's bugs can be forgiven if you just pretend they are all Skooma addicts , Dragon flying backwards - to much Skooma , guy melts into side of building - to much Skooma , the list is endless!

Hell maybe we should give Wishface some!

'We're in control on this mine now, nooooooooo sudden moves.' I do kind of miss that since I got them to leave

It cant just be me thats annoyed by the generic 'Arrow in the knee' ?