We'd heard bad things about Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch, like the brazen way it rips off Bioshock, but according to Total Film it "confirms he's among the most exciting action directors working today" while also demonstrating "that storytelling isn't his strong suit."
Emily Browning plays Baby, a blonde nutcase who seeks refuge from the asylum in baroque-feeling fantasy worlds. "That size-zero narrative is excuse enough for Snyder to drift away into dream sequences that'd dampen a teenage boy's duvet. Sucker Punch features gun-toting samurais, steam-powered Nazis and fire-breathing dragons, but shows little interest in the hows or whys, only the wows."
Snyder appears to believe that people won't walk into plotholes providing you keep beating them over the head with SFX: the film's "jaw-dropping flights of fancy are packed full of his trademark slow/fast/slow-mo bullet ballet." None of it's remotely enough to
alleviate "the cringeworthy dialogue" or "the fact that girls are empowering themselves while conveniently wearing push-up bras".
Nevertheless, a solid, three-star pick for glitter-lovers and those who fall asleep during Ninja Gaiden's dialogue sequences. "Just imagine if it had a decent story..."
Text courtesy of Total Film, who probably haven't realised it's missing yet.